You know what??! It seems like shopping malls have been getting a helluva lot more hostile lately. For example, a couple weeks ago I was in the Rosedale establishment on my lunch break, standing in line to retrieve some cash from the only working ATM in the entire mall. The wait was quite long, about 25 minutes, or something in that arena. Anyhoo, I had beep standing, in line for a few minutes when I noticed that there was some shoving going on behind me. I turned around and lo and behold, two burly guys were duking it out for their place in line! What is going on in this world where you have to fight for your right to stand in line? 1
Which brings me to the main subject
of this article. Crowds of people have
infected this once-great metropolis. You young'uns may not remember this, but once upon a
time, about 10 years ago, the entire metro area consisted of a population of just over 1.2
million souls. But in one short decade, the
area has ballooned to over 3.5 million “people.”
With the people came urban sprawl, traffic problems, housing shortages and
faster concert sellouts. Also there are just too damn many bodies at any one place at any
one time for me to feel comfortable. That is why I propose a federally mandated “personal
space.” If you are interested please
donate $7,500 to the "Federal Personal Space Program" and make all checks and
money orders out to me, Pop'n Fresh.
Another thing that crowds of people
have affected is the way we eat at restaurants. When was the last time you were actually
able to sit down and take your sweet-ass time eating and drinking before they threw your
sorry ass out of the place? The last time I was at Baker's Square they wouldn't even let
me finish my pie before they started really pushing me to leave. And as I was gathering
personal belongings I stole a glance at the front door, where a semi-large group of Yuppie-crats
was waiting expectantly for me to leave without a fuss, Needless to say, I didn't.
The restaurant scene described above
is just one symptom of the growing impatience of the population. Another one is that when we are in our cars, we
must keep moving. An extreme example is when one day while I was on my break from work
(not the same day as the slugfest) I was walking along the buildings at the Roseville
Crossroads when an elderly man attempted to cross the street with the aid of a walker and
his daughter. People were being nice and stopping their vehicles to let him cross.
However, a guy about six cars back in a pimped-out Ford Tempo would have none of it; he
cranked his steering wheel to the left and accelerated past the five remaining cars. At
which point the oldster emerged from the nose of the vehicle at the back of the queue. The
guy hit his brakes and avoided hitting the old man, instead hitting the walker, which then
hit his daughter in her leg. Hmmmmmm. Bit
impatient are we???
Now, for added fun, the notes that Leo intended to guide my revisions that never happened:
1 OK. one example, but does it prove anything?
2 Pop'n Fresh: Quality humor.
3 Once again, your experience, but is it transferrable? (Why all the ass?)
OK. Entertaining vignettes, but I am unsure as to what is the GLUE that holds all this together. I am inclined to say "So what?" even though the writing is good.