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ES.com feature pages

Very infrequently, inspiration strikes me, and these are some of the things that have resulted from said strikes. Warning: may or may not contain humor, especially the "humorous" pieces.

Despising Ladewski to the max
Long before his Pittsburgh Pirates controversy, I disassemble one of his pro-Bitch-Sox articles from the Daily Southtown and respond to him in kind.
Originally posted May 9, 2005

Slogan Archive
One of ES.com's constant (I would say popular but nothing I did on ES.com was popular) features was the bevy of slogans I used. Here are all of the ones I have record of using.
Originally posted April 12, 2005

The Banner Barn
Like a snapshot of terrible, here is a collection of totally ineffective GIF ad banners.
Originally posted January 21, 2005

The ES.com Probe
My knee-jerk reaction to the NBC Dateline special "Bringing Elizabeth Home." The second (and probably final) installment of a failed attempt at investigative opinion.
Originally posted October 25, 2003

Cornucopia!: The Joe Smiley Story
Joe Smiley has been my mascot since forever. This is how he came to exist.
Originally posted June 17, 2003

The ES.com Probe
I try to deeply analyze the homecoming of Elizabeth Smart. This was the pilot for the doomed Probe project; not a bad piece of writing, but woefully short on insight.
Originally posted March 15, 2003

ES.com History
I thought it would be interesting to hear Sylvester the Cat's side of the story. I think maybe it worked out.
Originally posted December 8, 2002

AIM R00LZ
One night while ~~pirating~~ sampling some music on BearShare, this logged AOL Instant Messenger chat came up. Possibly the finest piece on my site that I didn't actually write.
Originally posted August 14, 2001

Britney in Hawaii
I had a DishPlayer with WebTV and screen capture capability. I also had a tiny crush on Britney Spears. This is a result of that unholy union.
Originally posted July 12, 2000